October 4, 2022

yesterday while eating with my husband, we had a big fight

 

Yesterday while eating with my husband, we had a big fight

How our marriage has been.

Hi, the day has finally come when I also write something after always only reading posts here.

Personally I have always come across issues concerning in-laws family, husband problems, trouble in maiden home and even these days issues on Chuseok seems to be often posted here.

Every time I read a post here, I often ask  “Are they really fighting over that? Wouldn’t the problem go away, if they simply yielded to each other ?”.

This is because, I am neither in a short or long marital relationship that has be on for 19 years .

All my children have all matured to some degree and I and my husband have never had big arguments.

We both have been tolerating each other. When we do argue,  we just let go since it does no good for the children and if we try to fight, either I or my husband tells the other “alright, let’s just stop.”, while my husband steps outside for a while to smoke, comes back inside and goes to bed. This is how the issues have been resolved.

 

The trigger

However yesterday evening, in front of the children, we fought loudly.

Actually, I know I was in the wrong, because  I was the person who said that we should be careful since we were in front of the children .

The cause was also Chuseok.

My husband is the youngest son of his family. He has one older brother and older sister .

Since his brother was present, during family events there weren’t much problems because there were always two daughter-in-laws that divided and settled the tasks.

But on this occasion, my brother-in-law told me to my face that I would have to handle the Chuseok family event on my own, because he wasn’t feeling well.  I was completely okay with that .

Besides I am not novice to it and in my in-laws home, we do not prepare much food anyways. Two meals were usually enough.

So, I accepted and told his brother that he should take care of himself and once the event was over, that we were going to come visit him.

Afterwards I wrapped up at work, headed home and said this to my husband during dinner.

“Your brother must really be feeling unwell. He asked if I could handle the Chuseok day on my own, I said it was okay and he should be careful with his health. On that note, since we are going shopping on Thursday, please empty your schedules for that day.”

 

The argument

“But I have a company dinner on that day ? What am I to do ?”

“Really? but that wouldn’t work though…. Besides, we also have to buy gifts and many things to purchase.”

“Why do we need to buy so many things? Stop doing to much ( be moderate ) !”

“Regardless, when we go shopping, we end up buy a lot of things. When does your dinner  end ?”

“I don’t know. I’ll know, once I get there.”

“What kind of company schedules a staff dinner a day before Chuseok? What are the workers, whose hometowns are far away, supposed to do then ? Wednesday would have been better. ”

“Am I the boss? So what do you want me to do? You know, never-mind, let’s not go. ”

“Don’t talk like that, try to think in a positive direction.”

“I said,forget it! Don’t go anywhere on Chuseok day, don’t do anything!”

“Okay. I’ll go shopping by myself while you go for your company dinner.”

“I said do not go! Sister in-law isn’t going, so why should we ? Just do nothing and go nowhere!”

“let’s stop, the kids are eating.”

“Just know that I am also not going to the company dinner.”

“Just stop.”

“Do you think I am going because I want to have a get-together ? You can go shopping on your own, why are you so whiny!”

“Stop, I already agreed. I said I’ll go alone.”

“Forget it!Just don’t go anywhere! Don’t you dare !”

“I said okay, drop it already.”

 

The conclusion

I thought the conversation was going to stop there but suddenly he hissed, smacked his spoon and stomped out.

“Was that really worth getting angry about? Did I say something inappropriate ?”

Since my husband told me to do nothing, in a fit of rage, I said I won’t.

But I am really frustrated.

 

 

 

 

✅ 852❌ 73

Korean vocabulary

대판 싸우다 , have a big fight

시댁, one’s husband’s home

친정, the former home of a married woman

추석, Chuseok

많이들, a lot of people

양보하다, offer, yield, give way to, concede

짧다 , short

n년차 , n years

어느정도, in a [some] measure, in some degree, to some [a certain] degree [extent], somewhat, more or less, partly.

참다, endure, withstand, fight back, be patient

N V+봤자, if N do V

좋은 게 좋은 거라고~, fair is fair, it is all good,*

담배를 한 대 피우다, have a smoke[cigarette]

큰소리로, in a strong/loud voice, loudly

막내아들, youngest son

며느리, daughter-in-law

행사, event

분담하다, share, divide

가족 행사, family affair

치르다,pay, settle, experience

두끼, two meals

몸조리 잘 하세요., Take good care of yourself., Get well soon.

마무리를 짓다, to wrap something up, to finalize

장보러 가다, go shopping, go to market

시간 비워 놔, empty schedule, make time

전날, previous day

고향, home, hometown

좋은 방향으로, in a positive way

나발이고, don’t care

형수, one’s sister-in-law

징징대다, to whine

숟가락, spoon

내리치다, strike down

홧김에, in a fit of anger[temper, rage]

명절, national holiday

앞두다, have something ahead

진상, truth, reality

관리자, manager

일리가 있어요, to have reason , to have a point

목숨을 걸다, to risk own’s life

Comments

        • [+902] [-10]

          Crazy. what kind of company plans a staff dinner close to a national holiday.  One should consider the coworker commuting far distances ,let them leave work early and not have a staff dinner.  That was 1000000% setup only after talking to a few coworkers. What kind of company dinner do you go to with plans to rest the following day after drinking alcohol ???

        • [+848] [-18]

          A company dinner doesn’t make sense at all, comes off more like a private appointment. It seems like he got angry out of fear that you picked up on his infidelity.

        • [+841] [-14]

          Are you sure it is a company dinner ?  I don’t think so… If it were really a staff dinner, why is he putting his life on the line for a get together ?

End notes

Yall I am also learning Korean, so bear with me regarding the translations. I am translating as I understand and not literally.  

 

 

References

Naver Korean English Dictionary

Nate Pann

맘충

상메

 

 

Not 100% sure of this sentence’s translation.